You can’t pour from an empty cup..right?! If you’ve been working on breaking free from people pleasing, you’re probably starting to realise how important it is to put yourself first.
And let’s be honest: knowing you need to do it and actually doing it are two very different things. When you’re not used to it, putting yourself first can feel awkward and perhaps selfish at times and yet it’s the ultimate step to your inner peace.
So you might ask how you can start making yourself a priority?
Well I’m glad you asked, here are some simple, practical steps that can help you put yourself first, without the guilt.
📝 Journal it out.
Grab a pen and some paper, no need to over think, simply write the first thing that comes up.
Before you can start acting on putting yourself first you need to know why it matters and identify what your non-negotiables are for a happier you.
What is important to you? What makes you happy? What energises you? What do you want less of? What boundaries need to be set?
⛔ Learn to say “No”
If you’re a recovering people pleaser, saying “no” can feel scary and yet it is also very empowering.
Start practicing in low-stakes situations. For example, say “no” to a small favor or an unnecessary task. Gradually, work your way up to bigger things.
When you say “no” to something or someone else, you’re saying “yes” to yourself. And that’s a powerful shift.
🗓️ Schedule in “Me Time”
Like you would schedule a doctor’s appointment, work meeting or time with family and friends, schedule time for yourself.
Self care isn’t just bubble baths and one off spa days (although they are very nice). Self care is about consistently doing things that recharge you and make you feel good. This could be anything from regular exercise to reading, meditating, or spending time in nature.
Remember your non-negotiable list from earlier? Start to schedule these things into your calendar as recurring events.
😊 Ditch the guilt
It’s common and easy to feel guilty when you start putting yourself first, especially if you’re used priortising others.
Remind yourself that when you’re well-rested, happy, and fulfilled, you’re in a better position to help others. Reframe self care, rather than it mean that it’s selfish, let it mean that it’s necessary for your wellbeing.
💛 Practice Self Compassion
This is a big and important part of putting yourself which deserves its own post. Read it HERE
All of the above will take practice and patience. Every small action you take towards priortising yourself is a win, don’t forget to celebrate that for yourself.